yellow belly jelly

as an idiot of the highest order, i'm not the most erm, thingy, er....... articulate! of people. as such i don't really like talking about anything too complicated, so i find it difficult to admit that i'm a (theravadan) buddhist.

it sounds silly, pretentious and is pretty much incitement to be laughed at and annoyed by alot of people. some of the most tolerant, well rounded, liberal people i've met would ridicule me for expressing that i'm buddhist... so i keep quiet. shhhhhhh.... it's the worrying thing about modern, uber-liberalism. everyone's supposed to be the same. intellectually and spiritually bland. or that's how i feel sometimes. but then i might be getting a little paranoid about this.

i came to buddhism in a round about way. curiosity led to more and more reading, which led to meditation, which led to more reading and meditation, which led to better understanding and the realisation that i've always had values and ideas and approaches to things that buddhism succinctly sums up. it wasn't revelatory or anything, it was just nice to find a tradition that i could turn to for intellectual and emotional help that i understood and could relate to.

but still, i hide from telling people! i get embarassed and confused and expect people to mock me, which is probably unfair to them...